The Vongola's Deadly Will
by MySadistChibi
Summary: His friends' lives were in danger, and there was nothing he could do about it against the most horrifying enemy they ever faced. The Vongola is about to tear anything apart to have an idealized leader. Even Tsuna's own guardians. Rated M for violence.
1. 00 Nightmare

**_Rated M for blood and gore._**

**_I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any other character from it. If I did, things would get really nasty, and our dear romance lovers wouldn't like that now would they?_**

**_Just decided to try my first Reborn fic with my favorite type of story. I'm a sick person..._**

**_I'll post the next chapter within this week. Sorry for any grammar mistake I might have done. Anyway, on with the story!_**

* * *

**_Prologue Chapter - Nightmare_**

* * *

Tsuna could feel the chains, cold and hard on his wrists. This again, every day now... He had no hope anymore...

Tsuna tried to adjust his position on the floor, maybe feel less uncomfortable, but he couldn't move. Had no energy for this at all. The chains pulled his arms above his head, in the dark, dirty room. He could hear water drops falling erratically, the silent itself reminded him of metal. There's no way out.

He looked at _him_ again. Just expected. He wasn't there a second ago. The first time, he thought it was a mirror in front of him. But _it_ was indeed him in his familiar hyper mode, standing in front of Tsuna with his arms crossed and smiling. Not his normal, warm smile, but a really dark smile that reminded him about whom he was _here_, every night.

"W-why every time...?" Tsuna asked himself on the verge of tears. Forcing the tears back. This has been happening randomly every week, but recently changed to _absolutely every night._ He couldn't take it anymore. Sleepless nights were part of his routine, just when he miraculously managed to escape the terror of finding himself here. Always thinking, _waiting_ for this nightmare to happen.

"Let's play a different game today." His counterpart said, almost enthusiastic with the idea. His ominous smile lightened by the only small light on the wall. He took a step away, showing a girl he knew very well behind him and making a gesture with his arm, as if he was presenting her to Tsuna.

Tsuna gasped. "What are you planning to do with her? ! Kyoko-chan has nothing to do with this!" Seeing her in that position, unconscious, barely clothed and chained just like him made him want to cry and scream. But he held it in. He held it in because crying had been fatal in the last nightmare, he would murder her horribly in front of him if he did so! He wouldn't be able to handle seeing her blood, her screams of pain.

"Of course she has! She's _our_ friend, isn't she? _We_ love her, don't we? So she has everything to do with this, my little _pathetic_ self."

"She didn't do anything! Please!"

"So what?"

"This can't be!" Tsuna's eyes were wide and terrified. He wanted to wake up! Just this once, somebody, even if someone needed to hit him in the face with a bat or even stab him, somebody needed to wake him up! Tsuna desperately keep repeating '_wake up, wake up, wake up!_' like a chant, hopelessly wishing that even Reborn would hear his mental pleads and wake him up!

"You won't wake up unless I say so." His other self mentioned casually, calmly walking towards the corner of the room, looking for something.

Tsuna knew what he had in that corner. So many sharp objects he had displayed there. "W-what are you doing...?" Tsuna asked, afraid of imagining what new 'game' he had in mind.

"Ah, this one." He proudly showed Tsuna an assassination knife, one of the worst he had used to cause pain on his body, and walked towards Kyoko.

"No, wait!" Tsuna yelled, hopelessly wishing he would just stop! He had seen _his own_ _hands_ torture and kill horribly everyone he though as a friend. For months, its realism tortured Tsuna mentally even thought he had already tortured Tsuna physically once a week, long before he started murdering his friends in front of him. On the same day he though _'At least my friends are fine...'_

On that same night, he did the same thing he was doing to Tsuna on the previous week. Pure torture, it pained him to look, so much he couldn't stop looking. His mind couldn't register nothing but the pain, it wouldn't do anything but that!

He unchained Kyoko.

"Please don't..." Tsuna pleaded, begging not to hurt her.

He dragged her by the hair and tossed her carelessly in front of him.

Tsuna bit his lip. That rough floor probably hurt her skin. But he couldn't cry for what was about to happen, he just couldn't. Staring at her in front of him was already torture, he wanted it to be over, but it just wouldn't! He would have to suffer from this forever! It was all Reborn's fault for appearing with all that mafia shit! For risking his life! For dragging his friend into this!

Maybe not having friends at all was better than seeing them like this...

It was all _his_ fault, everything!

Tsuna felt tears roll down on his face. He knew what was coming.

"Ooh, I see tears?" His counterpart said, faking sympathy. Tsuna knew, he was going to rip her throat now, he knew he couldn't cry, but couldn't hold it anymore- His thoughts was interrupted by a sharp pain on his chest and he screamed in agony. "You thought I was going to stab _her_?" Tsuna could feel him move the knife inside him, as if painfully ripping his heart. It was a nightmare after all, he couldn't die, unfortunately... "Don't be stupid, she's a woman..." His counterpart said amusingly.

With a big smile, he grabbed her hair and pulled her head until Tsuna could see her face clearly, struggling to keep his eyes open with the pain, just to take a look at her face.

"And here goes a question that you, as a man, should know. What do we do with women?"

Tsuna gasped. No... Not that, not... not in front of him... of all people...

"Oh yes, even you know..." He said, his expression showing so much madness that Tsuna couldn't find words. "Even you know, we fuck them!"

Tsuna' eyes widened. He felt hate consume his thoughts. The feeling was so alien to him, yet, it came so easily now, so naturally he felt disgusting... So at ease, letting your rage out gave so much relief to his stressed mind...

His counterpart didn't react much. He kneeled at Kyoko's side and stroked her skin, smiling and looking almost proud as he watched Tsuna curse him mindlessly in his head and struggle to free himself and kill his other self. He was his counterpart after all, he could feel it. "You progressed a lot this month..." He whispered and tilted his head a little. His expression completely peaceful when he laid a hand on Tsuna's cheek, making him even more uncontrollable. "Don't worry. Once this dominates your mind, all the pain will be gone~"


	2. 01 Corruption

_**Well, I don't own anything, Rated M for various reasons, and I'm so happy!**_

_**Well, my official chapters will be quite **_**big**_**, unlike the prologue. I don't want this fic to have more than 10 chapters, but I got a lot to do, so I'll have really big stuff, that might take some time to be written.**_

**_This is where the story really begins! And before everything, please believe in my ability of killing characters whenever I fell like it. On with the story!_**

* * *

_**Chapter 01 – Corruption**_

* * *

Reborn's been extremely (not quoting Sasagawa) busy these days. Tsuna has improved greatly since he met him and Reborn was happy that day, on his own way of being happy...

After everything, the battle with Varia, their conflict in the future, the fight with the Shimon and their recent Rainbow Representative Battle (in which the arcobalenos managed to keep their '_presents_' to use whenever they wanted to), Tsuna had managed to overcome everything in his way, but unfortunately, his '_crybabyness_' did the same thing.

At least he thought it did until now... Tsuna has been acting weird recently... Reborn was a little concerned with the future boss' health.

On _that_ matter... Reborn never thought that his coward student would manage to avoid sleep for _five days_ straight. He thought Reborn didn't notice, but he did, he noticed really fast actually.

Drinking lots of caffeine before sleeping and struggling to keep his eyes open after it wears off. When noticing it was too hard to keep up, he would get off bed and get some more to drink. Some times he tried to just pinch himself, in attempt not to get off bed unnecessarily and wake Reborn up by accident. A childish tact, but he tried... Hard...

The cursed baby wondered how long he would keep doing that. But more importantly, he couldn't think of a reason. Reborn knew, deprivation of sleep is a method of torture that probably caused Tsuna to have several memory lapses, complains about headaches and, most likely, even hallucinations, since he sometimes would stare into dark corners and mirrors for too long, attempting to avoid showing fear or having imaginary conversations.

Reborn had enough with it. He wanted to know why was Tsuna so scared, and of _what_. He first thought he was being scaredy cat having nightmares about monsters under his bed, but not once he cried about 'scary nightmares'. Was it a bet? No, he would've complained about it...

Reborn climbed his hammock and observed Tsuna for a few seconds, who was also getting ready for another 'secret sleepless night' even though his body was _obviously_ and _desperately_ willing for a rest. Before that, Reborn quickly changed the coffee he insisted in using to maintain his routine. No caffeine, no support.

Tsuna just stared the ceiling. Reborn couldn't read his mind for once, wondering if he managed to 'block' him somehow, but it was doubtful. The fact that he had absolutely _nothing_ running in his mind was more plausible.

Right in the beginning of the night, Reborn noticed he was having trouble to avoid sleep. Tsuna looked at Reborn briefly, before slowly getting off bed.

"Don't even think of it." Reborn said out of nowhere.

"Reborn! H-how did you-"

"You think I wouldn't notice you were skipping nights? Don't be stupid. I'm the greatest hitman after all."

"Nee, Reborn, _please_-"

"Sleep."

"B-but-"

Reborn looked at him sharply and took some air quickly. He could read everything now. Clear as water. _Fear_, edging _terror_. His eyes were wide and shaky, and his shoulders were trembling. He jumped from his hammock and walked up to his bed. Sitting in front of him, Reborn could see how honestly scared his student was. "Then tell me what's happening. Nightmares? It can't be just that."

Tsuna tensed and gulped, taking big breaths. "K-kind of..." Too much uncertain. He was lying, or really, wasn't sure himself... Reborn raised an eyebrow. It couldn't be such a pathetic thing as some nightmares. Tsuna looked back and forth, as if expecting something to pop out of the air and grab him.

"How long?"

"A-a few days I guess..."

"Don't lie to me."

Tsuna shrieked. "I didn't want to worry anyone!"

"So to avoid that, you decided not to sleep at night and stumble around like a zombie at school." Reborn pondered the redundancy in his acts... "Really _clever_." He didn't have enough reasons to worry. "Maybe suffering with a post-traumatic stress at least? After everything, such a thing is expected and you're such a cry baby sometimes it could very well be_ just that._ Just go back to sleep. It will wear off sometime." He ordered, convinced that it would.

But Tsuna wasn't convinced at all.

"Just don't worry about it. If you think about it too much, it's obvious that you'll have these nightmares. If it doesn't wear off... Well, we'll think of something." They both laid on their respective beds. Tsuna seemed to be trying to rely on his words, but couldn't convince himself. And finally, after five days, _he fell asleep_.

But Reborn just sat on his hammock. Observing Tsuna. As of experiment, he wanted to see exactly what was happening. If he payed attention, he could hear his heartbeat speed and other minor things he couldn't while asleep. He stood up and changed clothes already. It would take a little for any nightmare to happen, and he probably wound't sleep after that anyway...

If it were _nightmares_, he probably just needed to sleep with mama, like any other little kid needs. If it were _night-terrors_, well, then things would be different. Reborn would have to work on it, unfortunately .

Merely 40 minutes was what it took to come. His heartbeats accelerate more and more by each second while Reborn frowned. It was going _too_ fast for a nightmare...

Maybe it wasn't just a normal nightmare? Tsuna didn't trash on his bed like he should if it was a nightmare, his breaths where fast enough you could confuse it with a silent hyperventilation, and Tsuna's grip on his pillow was a clear signal of pain endurance.

Reborn opened his month as if he wanted to say something. His student's face showed so much pain, he could imagine what he could be seeing right now. He made absolutely no noise and barely moved, Reborn wouldn't wake up with that if he were asleep! As an experienced hitman, it wasn't that difficult to imagine. Someone you fear or just met torturing you during night-terrors was way too common. Tsuna could actually be tortured by Reborn himself in there, or by any other enemy he faced, or even his own guardians!

"Tch" Reborn went to wake him up even though he knew he shouldn't, when Tsuna suddenly sat up, his expression so frightened like Reborn had never seen on his face before. His eyes wide open, month open as if he wanted to scream but couldn't, sweating and having erratic breaths and twitches,

Reborn didn't say anything as Tsuna's expression slowly changed to rage mixed with angst from whatever was happening in his mind. Tsuna got off bed and ran out of the room. "This is bad." Reborn murmured to no one in particular, before going after him.

After this whole time, Reborn thought he knew everything he could expect from Sawada Tsunayoshi, he thought that whatever he did could be predicted by him! He thought that never he would be able to actually be _cold-blooded_ like many other Vongola Bosses! When Reborn reached the kitchen, Tsuna looked completely unstable. Using the table to support himself on his feet. "_Doing whatever you want..._" Tsuna mumbled, voice barely audible like he's forcing it out.

Reborn breathing was faster than normal, and he growled for losing this much of control before taking a deep breath to regain his normal posture. But couldn't keep it when he noticed his student with one of his mother's knife in hands, staring at it, wondering what should he do with it. Tsuna clenched his teeth and raised the knife. Reborn raised his head slightly wondering what he was going to do.

Not even closing his eyes, Tsuna stabbed himself. Reborn's shoulder twitched in surprise,

"Can you feel that, you bastard? !" Tsuna yelled in so much disgust and rage, Reborn couldn't even recognize him as he continuously repeated the act, his shoulder, arm, hand and almost in his stomach, he repeated it as if it didn't hurt at all and as if his blood wasn't flowing all over his arm and floor "HOW DOES IT FEELS LIKE? !"

Leon turned into his pistol, Reborn wouldn't watch this anymore.

Tsuna stopped contusing himself and pointed the blade to his own heart. "_...You're not gonna touch me anymore..._" He murmured desperately, hands trembling in agony, when the bloody knife was shot away from his hand. In mid panic and rage, Tsuna glared at his tutor.

"That's enough, Tsuna." Reborn ordered. His serious tone didn't scare him, Tsuna didn't even flinch.

"Then shoot me!" He yelled, panic, angst, anger, everything dripped from his voice. Everything but fear or remorse. "You can do it, right? ! JUST SHOOT ME!" Tsuna felt his tutor kicking his face, he fell on his back on the floor right away.

Reborn was standing on top of him, pointing his gun at his face. "Stop this idiotic act, Tsuna!" Reborn said, raising his voice, his weapon turning back into his chameleon partner. "Why would I shoot you? !" Reborn truly trusted Tsuna, though he would never say it. Also trusted his teaching methods, believed they would find out what was happening since Dame-Tsuna refused to speak about it. But this...

"It's all YOUR fault to begin with! You might just as well end my pain then!" Tsuna's outburst made Reborn lose his posture, not for surprise, but anger. "Just fucking KILL ME ALREADY!"

This... _THIS_ action in particular, Reborn shook him by his shirt, yelling "Put yourself back together! I know you're stronger than THIS!"

Tsuna took a sharp, quick breath. He closed his eyes and laid his head down. He couldn't move his arm, he used the other arm to cover his face.

Reborn watched while his student slowly become stable again. "B-but... but..." He heard him sob, the anger was apparently gone when he started crying, showing what he really felt. _Desperation_, _fright_, _panic_... "I-I don't know what to do anymore!" His voice was quiet and pitched while cried and sobbed... So much like a small child... "It hurts so much... every night... I thought I could handle it... that it would go away soon, b-but..."

"It didn't..." Reborn finished.

"..." Reborn looked back and scoffed. Obviously, after all that noise, they would wake up. He was more worried about _Nana_ though, who stared at them in horror. Bianchi didn't even let Fuuta see what was happening. Lambo and I-Pin were probably still asleep...

Tsuna noticed her and sat up slowly, wincing with all the pain, she covered he mouth with the hand, while he just noticed the pain now. His smile wasn't fake, but he struggled to keep it with all that pain and exhaustion. "I-I'll clean this, d-don't worry mom... Y-you can go back to sleep..." Still worried about other more than himself, Tsuna wasn't _lost_ yet, Reborn mused. Nana was frozen in that spot. Not thinking, not moving, just staring in shock.

Tsuna didn't do as he said when he suddenly fell down, "Tsu-kun!" Nana screamed, rushing by his side, finally thinking again, not even minding to place her knees and hands in blood.

"He's asleep." Reborn assured her, lowering his hat. "Bianchi, help me out here." They didn't have time to call Ryohei to cure him, so he would do it himself. He would have to stop his bleeding before it really kills him...

That night was the first night Tsuna ever broke down mentally in such a way, enough for him to seek for suicide and ask for death... Reborn didn't know the cause. First, he had many calls to do for now, but he would go for it with all he's got... And also, _Iemitsu_ would've to get his ass back to Japan and do something to help his son for once, instead of just leaving things to him...

* * *

Tsuna opened his eyes quickly, finally noticing he was conscious. He sat up, looking around, seeing he was in his room. He sighed. '_Safe..._' The quick thought of being _there_ made him panic for a second.

"You finally woke up." He heard, jumping from his spot on his bed.

He turned around in sudden fright. "R-Reborn... You scared me..."

Reborn merely took a quick glance at him, the looked at his arm.

Tsuna blinked, confused, when his eyes widened. "W-what...?" He asked slowly, suddenly remembering about last night's event.

Reborn sighed. "Good. You remember. Now, you should explain things better. It's afternoon now by the way."

"Afternoon? ! What about school? !"

"Don't worry about it."

Tsuna quieted down and looked at his hand, now covered in bandages. "S-sorry... About last night." Reborn remained quiet, expecting him to continue. "I don't know what came into me there..." He said,

"Yeah, me neither."

Tsuna curled and hugged his knees, hiding his face. "What... am I going to do now... Reborn?"

"I told you, we'll find something. I'm afraid that sleeping now is out of question, even though you need some. So if we can't find anything in two or three days, you might have to endure that again sooner or later. Whatever it is."

Tsuna looked at him in horror. "_What_? N-no, I'm... I'm not sleeping until you... I'm..."

Reborn looked sharply at him. He was panicking again. "Don't worry about it." Reborn said it again, '_don't worry_'. He was practically hammering those words into his mind. "I think I got a way of helping you with the sleeping problem part, just in case." He said, smirking. "I just need to contact a 'certain someone'."

Tsuna blinked, "A certain someone?" Reborn didn't respond, just smirked, adding more random ideas and more expectations for something bad, yelling _bad_, _bad_, _bad_ all over his thoughts. He hid his face again. He didn't need any more bad stuff, he had enough of it! Couldn't Reborn see that? !

"You're acting weak again, Dame-Tsuna. I told you, we'll help you out of this." Ah, yes, Reborn can read his mind... "Now, you'll tell me." His voice couldn't be more serious. Reborn sat in front of him on his bed, just like last night. "You _will_ explain this."

Tsuna looked at him, uncertain. He could trust Reborn with these things right? He would help him, even thought he bothered him a little, right?

_'A little? Hm... I fell from 'torturing' him to 'bothering' him in his list. Looks like I got a rival here.'_ "Just relax and talk."

The whole afternoon was just light interrogation. Reborn probably didn't want to pressure him, seeing as how he was acting last night. Interrogation is when they seek answers from an individual, Tsuna knew. The mafia uses... some bad... ways of doing things, but Reborn let him eat, rest and skip questions... He felt happy for that, but he missed the time when he could call his spartan methods of training 'torture'.

_Three months_ is the time he endured it. Two months just concentrated on him, the other whole month and two weeks were on his friends. His friends, his first friends and his life support now. He endured this the whole time for them. He thought he could handle it... How stupid. He just _freaked _and_ lost it_ last night. He couldn't... he's not strong enough...

It's just a nightmare, it'll wear off, it's not real... He also sought for support on these thoughts. He withstood all that with everything he could. He didn't want to bother them with his problems... Even so, he thought sometimes, during his worst times in _there_... maybe he was just afraid of being punished for seeking help... Why so afraid of something that's not even real? Tsuna felt stupider than normal. More pitiful... More useless...

So many times _he_ used this word. **Useless** because he can't save his friends, **useless** because he can't control his own mind, **useless** because he's too soft... Being useless was normal for him before, he heard it daily at school before, he was used to it, he accepted it, but now it was unbearable. He didn't want to be like that anymore.

Tsuna laid down on his bed. Eyes fixed on the ceiling, he then raised his hands, seeing how shaken he was. He couldn't stop this trembling movement... He just hoped Reborn wouldn't call everyone into this. The last thing he wanted was Gokudera skipping school to stay with him, and everyone's worried looks, or this spreading around school in form of a stupid lie, like, playing with a nest of hedgehogs, or, into that, being beaten up by Hibari for some humiliating reason... He felt his eyes getting heavier and sat up immediately, afraid of falling asleep by accident.

... Maybe being beaten up could keep him awake for sometime...

* * *

"Call me if anything weird happens, understand, Dame-Tsuna?" Reborn said, giving him a cellphone.

"B-but phones are forbidden inside school! Hibari said so!"

"Don't worry, I got his permission already."

"Eeeeh? How is that?"

"_Just_ take it."

It has being two days. Tsuna thought he was fine to go to school again, and insisted. Yamamoto had come to his house to make sure he was fine, Gokudera was there much earlier. Looks like everyone was worried, including Kyoko-chan. How relieved he felt when she visited him. She was fine... it was just a _nightmare_ after all...

And luckily, it was windy outside, he could wear his dark blue uniform and hide his bandaged arm from everyone at school.

"Oh Tsuna! You're early today! That's great, since you're usually late!" Yamamoto always cheerful and happy said, laughing it off like a joke as always.

"Juudaime is late because he wants to! He doesn't need to worry about something stupid like school!" Gokudera defended him automatically.

"I see..." Tsuna sweatdropped. '_Why would I be late on purpose...?_' They talked and laughed all the way to school. Tsuna never noticed Reborn watching him carefully while they leaved. When finally reaching the school, Tsuna was greeted by the usual stares. A lot of them... Maybe because he wasn't late...? He wondered. He never liked the staring... but hearing what they say about him was even worse. On getting late, he never met a lot of people at the school gates, therefore, never heard so much as now...

The girls were still mad at him, of course. While most guys still gave him weird looks or questioned why '_cool guys_' like Yamamoto or Gokudera were hanging with _Dame-_Tsuna... That painful word again...

Tsuna knew he was no match to them. He always knew that didn't he? They are popular and everyone respect them, even if it is for different reasons. Yamamoto was the baseball star and was always the happiest guy on Earth, while Gokudera was really cool, or so said every girl, and incredible smart, always getting 100 mark at tests. A real genius! While Tsuna... _no good_ with sports... _no good_ with studies... _no good_ with everything else...

Tsuna started feeling uncomfortable with all the stares. What was going on today? He was doing his best to hide this. But recently, it was becoming difficult. Probably because of his lack of sleep. He himself wasn't sure if it started just now, or if he just noticed them now. And the rumors were always the _worst_...

**"He's just after their fame..."**

_They're really my friends..._

**"I heard that he's paying them to be around him..."**

_I'm not doing anything..._

**"He's so _pathetic_..."**

_It's not my fault!_

**"...So _useless_..."**

_I don't want to be!_

**"Probably _lying_ about something..."**

_I never lied to them!_

**"Ah... A _liar_ then... It's worse than being so _useless_..."**

_I'M NOT A LIAR!_

He wanted to yell at them. He wanted to tell them. These two... They're his friends! Real friends! He has a lot of friends now! He wants to believe that he's not alone anymore! His past, all alone, no friends, it didn't matter anymore!

But...

"Tsuna!" Tsuna looked up. Startled. He looked at Yamamoto. Gokudera almost panicking. "What's wrong?"

"Huh?" Was his brilliant response, receiving some silent snickering. Yamamoto was calling him and seemed worried. How long have he being spacing out like that? And Gokudera's worried look... He noticed he was in the middle of the hallway, the bell had already rung. How did he get here without bumping on anyone or tripping on a bug was beyond him...

"What's wrong...?" Yamamoto asked again, this time slower.

"N-nothing." and he ran into the classroom.

Gokudera stared for a few seconds. Then looked at Yamamoto sharply. "What did you do now?"

"Hun? I didn't do anything. Haha, maybe he ate something bad this morning?"

"Stop that, Baseball idiot! This might be serious!" Gokudera responded, completely alarmed and ran after his boss.

Yamamoto's smile was gone when he heard that. Tsuna, besides spacing out, seemed quite sad and uncomfortable this past week. Maybe Gokudera was right? ... Nah, he was just being his worried, normal self, and Tsuna would never feel so down over normal things.

If it wasn't a normal thing, they would know, right? ... He would tell them... _right_?

* * *

Lunch time, and as usual, they went to the roof. Strangely, Tsuna refused silently at first, but end up going anyway.

There, Tsuna just mindlessly stared at his food, not speaking a word.

Gokudera, dropped his food slowly and looked at him, worried. "Juudaime! I'm sorry, but please answer me! What's happening? ! Someone attacked you? ! Is something bothering you? ! Does your wound hurts? !"

Tsuna looked at him, sad. He felt sad, seeing someone like Gokudera spending all his potential and life with someone as _useless_ as him... The feeling was always there, but it was growing more and more each day. And now it was unbearable.

"It's nothing, really. Just not hungry..." He said quietly. Gokudera apparently cursed himself for '_not being trustful enough to his Juudaime._'

"Tsuna, you're really down today..." Yamamoto seemed so worried. It was really sad for someone like him waste his life with the mafia underworld. Tsuna didn't want to put him into this to begin with, and Tsuna already imagined what would be like if he hadn't met him at all. Tsuna wouldn't have given that stupid advice to him, he wouldn't have broken his arm, nor tried suicide. Would have gotten over everything and maybe he could be a famous pro-baseball player, and not an infamous mafia assassin like Reborn wanted.

_Too unbearable._

Tsuna lowered his head and sighed. "...I'll be right back. Don't follow me Gokudera-kun." He said before leaving. His voice tired and deprived of any happiness and light it possessed before.

Yamamoto watched as he leaved with a surprised expression. Tsuna couldn't blame him. He himself was impressed his own depressed and _useless_ thoughts.

Reaching the bathroom, Tsuna stumbled over the sink. Hands over his face. The feeling was getting worse. Its speed was alarming, he felt sick and tired and he wanted to throw up. Raising his head, he looked at himself in the mirror. Did those sleepless nights affected him this bad? Maybe he should go home...

"Well, well, look what we found here..." He heard.

Tsuna slowly turned his head to his company. One of his bullies, in front of him. Yasuhiko-san! He wasn't the worst of them, he was Yamamoto's colleague with the baseball team, but was one of those who mocked him a lot even though he never really hit him. He memorized all their faces and their names. Each one of them and what each one of them did to him every single time they could.

"Dame, Dame-Tsuna. Where are Yamamoto-san and Gokudera?" Yasuhiko asked, strangely serious. "Did they finally noticed how much of a trash you are...?"

_'Who do you think you are to call me 'trash'? Xanxus?'_

"Isn't it weird?" He asked calmly, pulling an arm around Tsuna's shoulder. He was serious, without that smile he used to mock him.

"What...?" Tsuna asked, looking tired and sick in every aspect. Not like this guy cared

"Both of them got a lot of scratches and bruises since the started hanging out with you. What are you doing hun? You're using them to protect you?" He said tautly, getting a little to close to his face, attempting to intimidate him. "You're dirtier than I thought, Dame-Tsuna! Yamamoto is my friend you know? ! Or at least he used to be. Since you two became friends, you're always with him. And Yamamoto-san totally stopped hanging around with us, his real friends!"

Tsuna felt deeply offended, he felt anger... "I... I didn't do anything! They are really my friends! And if Yamamoto likes to be with me more than with you, then it's not my problem!" He spat, pushing him away.

Yasuhiko was surprised, you could see clearly by the look on his face. Dame-Tsuna has never yelled at anyone! He was always the small, pathetic little kid who couldn't even raise his voice against a bug!

"What's up with this tone huh? !" Tsuna felt a knuckle hit his face, he could smell the blood running down his nose. "You're feeling all big using Yamamoto-san to protect you? ! But guess what! He's not here now!" Being kicked made Tsuna roll on the floor in pain, the taste of blood reaching his tongue from the punch just now.

_'Who cares about this person...?'_

Tsuna felt tempted to do something. The feeling was growing on him like an intruder in his mind, _like a virus_, he couldn't control it...

_'They are never going to accept me anyway. Why can't I just...'_

Another kick and more mockery, but he couldn't hear anything besides his inner monologue.

_'Why can't I just get **rid** of them? !'_

"What are you gonna do now? !" Yasuhiko was about to hit the kid on the floor with his bare hands this time, but something grabbed his wrist, tightening painfully.

"_Why_...?" He heard Tsuna say silently, tightening his grip.

Yasuhiko thought his wrist was going to break at any second, when Tsuna pulled him closer, let go of his wrist and caught his neck, bringing him against the floor painfully. He could feel the blood under his head. The feeling terrified him to no end, the ominousness in the air was making it impossible to breath, his eyes were wide open, and his adrenaline was bumping incredibly fast!

"Why..." He repeated silently. "Why can't I have some friends...? Since when is this forbidden to **me**...? !"

He couldn't speak. Tsuna's hand was preventing him from it. Yasuhiko tried to hold Tsuna's arm and push it away, but he could feel how rough it was. He never though he would be a sharp, strong kid! He looked him in the eyes. He could see them now.

_Completely empty._

Empty brow eyes stared at him, waiting for either an answer of for his death. Have he finally lost his mind...? Yasuhiko was almost panicking, but he knew it wouldn't do him any good! In attempt to hit his stomach, he raised his knee sharply, it distracted Tsuna and Yasuhiko pushed him away quickly.

"Ahahaha! I get it! You finally lost it and now you wanna _kill_ me don't you? !" Yasuhiko yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Tsuna stood up, looking severely tired and in pain, probably the wound was aching.

"But guess what? ! I'm gonna spread this around! Dame-Tsuna tried to _kill_ someone! No one is going to be your friend anymore! Even your so called _friends_ are going to run away from you!"

Tsuna's eyes were wide in horror. He opened his month to say something, but nothing came out, he then smirked slowly, as if he had realized something. A menacing, insane smirk. His good, bright mind long gone now... "I wanna see you try!" He said loudly, taking stance between his older bully and the way out.

Yasuhiko mused over this. Risking his life against Dame-no, against _Sawada_ of all people. _Dame-people can't kill you._

_'If I just get past that door, I can run into some classroom, then I'll be safe. If he goes after me, there will be others to get in his way and try to stop him. I can tell everyone about this, maybe they'll send him to a madhouse! And then Yamamoto-san will be safe from this lunatic and will come back to us!'_ Yasuhiko mused shortly, before smirking.

The bell rung, but Tsuna didn't move. Unfazed by it, he could only think he thought of it as a signal for Yasuhiko to start.

_Ready!_

He ran, first attempt is to get past him! His adrenaline was at its maximum, everything running slowly, clenched fists, _'I can do this!'_

He turned right, and so did Tsuna. Yasuhiko tried to hit him with a quick punch but Tsuna was faster and dodged, punching him with all that rage shown in his face.

Yasuhiko took distance quickly. This attempt failed, now next one! He ran towards Tsuna with all the speed his baseball experience could provide, ignoring all the pain, slamming straight into him. Tsuna closed his eyes and quickly rolled backwards,

'_NOW!_' For that split second, the way was open!

But Tsuna was surprisingly skillful. The moment his foot touched the ground after that back flip, he pushed himself against Yasuhiko, blocking both of his hands with his own, now both trying to force their way against each other.

"Heh! You're better than I though!" Yasuhiko said, deep inside he was scared, but this was thrilling and made his blood boil!

"You too! Really good for a _civil_!" Tsuna said, smirking. They both took distance from each other, both tired, but only Yasuhiko was reaching his limit.

Yasuhiko looked at him. It was so odd. He was always the worst at sports. Couldn't trow a ball to save his life, couldn't run 100 meters without getting dead-tired. Yet here he was, fighting with someone, tired, but still standing like he's used to it! It hit him. Scratches, bruises, sudden wounds, skipping classes! And so many other weird stuff always circling Sawada. Whatever was happening to him at that time made him stronger. Yamamoto and Gokudera were just the same! He just hoped his friend's mental state wasn't as broken as Sawada's, as he barely noticed how much he forced his wounded arm, that now was bleeding.

"Still wanna kill me?" Yasuhiko asked between quick breaths.

"Still wanna make me look like a _madman_ in front of everyone?" He replied.

"You are one..." Yasuhiko taunted, forgetting about his current position at that moment. "You're dangerous, I get that! They might think you're their friend and all, but I know now! You'll just end up dragging everyone around you into whatever_ dark hole_ you're in now and kill them!"

Tsuna's eyes darkened suddenly at that. Yasuhiko was almost regretting what he just said. The guy was completely out of his mind! What the fuck was he thinking!

He heard some dark, quick laughter. "...I know that~!" His cracked smile was present on his face, as frightening as the smirk from before.

_'Maybe multiple personality disorder...?'_ Yasuhiko though, before pondering about how stupid this sounded.

"I'm indeed in a dark hole. Completely stuck. Gokudera-kun was with me the whole time but Yamamoto... He wasn't even looking when he fell in it." Tsuna said, shrugging like it was no big deal. "Too bad for him. But want you or not, he's a _natural assassin_ you know?"

Yasuhiko's eyes were wide. _Assassin_? He remembered Tsuna calling him _civil_ before. "You're... a _criminal_? You're dragging him into _this_? Don't joke around! He has a great future ahead and you're ruining it? !"

"Not exactly a criminal, I'm much _higher_ than that." Yasuhiko was definitely regretting what he said earlier. His smile was big and thin, and his eyes were narrowed, definitely resembling a psycho criminal!

Tsuna tilted his head a little, walking calmly towards him.

"D-don't came closer!" Yasuhiko yelled, but Tsuna didn't stop. Already in his range of attack, Yasuhiko attacked him as hard as he could.

Tsuna barely moved an inch. His smile was still there. '_He didn't even feel it?'_

Yasuhiko gasped. His eyes wide in horror. He backed away from him. His back meeting the tiled wall. Covered in sweat, fear washing all over him.

That... _thing_... was getting closer. He couldn't bring himself to call it a person anymore! He caught his cellphone. Against the rules but thank _god_ he had it! Even so, there was no way someone was going to listen to him if he called for help- maybe Hibari! … No, his chances were slim. Hibari started his patrols from his office, then went to the roof. The closest place from here was the roof. If he could just stay alive for at least ten minutes... there was no chance for him but this!

Tsuna blinked, unfazed by any pain he was supposed to be feeling right now. "Earlier... I was wondering why I can't just get rid of people like you... But now I noticed... I can just do that!" He screamed, going for the kill. Yasuhiko got out of the way, typing on his phone frantically, so much that he missed the keys, making him panic even more. Tsuna caught his shirt collar. "I'll just get rid of you bastards!"

He sent it,

"It's so simple! Why didn't I think of it before? !"

**HELP! IM GONNA DIE!**

"Ah yes, it's because I was so _**USELESS** _isn't it? !"

He felt hopeless, _desperate_! Tsuna immobilized him quickly, with both hands on his neck, it hurt so much he couldn't describe it! Not just because he was being killed, no one was going to get to him in time, but also, because he wouldn't be the only one! He thought before, he would be just the first to die in this school! That is if they don't believe in his email! He sent it to all of his friends on his contact list, but doubted it would save his life now.

And the critical factor, no one would _ever_ suspect that _Dame-Tsuna_ was behind it!

He looked at his soon-to-be-murderer. He was smirking like he won the battle completely, just waiting for him to die! He felt the pain of being choked to death, so much he couldn't hear anything else anymore. But Tsuna stopped suddenly. His face turned pale as if he noticed someone behind him. Yasuhiko could barely distinguish what was happening when he saw that man, with a hand on Tsuna's shoulder, a serious and intimidating expression shadowed by his hat, with an intimidating aura around him in that black suit.

Tsuna had frozen on that position.

"That's enough, Dame-Tsuna..." His deep voice echoed. Tsuna was speechless, and let go of his neck with no further words and sat by his side, not taking any glance at Yasuhiko's direction. The man nodded and Tsuna didn't move an inch from that spot. Only his twitching shoulders moved.

Yasuhiko slowly tried to sneak away from them, when the man caught his shirt collar and dragged him out of the room.

_'Am I safe? !'_

After getting a good 20 meters from that wretched place, the man tossed him against the wall. The window above him glimmering with the sun. "You did well with surviving for that long. I congratulate you for that." He said, still serious. He crossed his arms and looked down. "Unfortunately, I can't let you go after this."

Yasuhiko froze completely. _'Am I going to die after all...?'_

Before he could even notice, he had a gun pointed at his head.

_'That's it then...?'_

"Yes, that's it, kid."

He gave up. Not even wondering how he heard his thoughts. The man said it now, he did well. It was enough. It was over.

Just before that, he wished his family would be fine... His little sister would grow up to be happy... His brother would go to that nice college... His father would win that lottery he wanted so much, and his mother would get that pretty house in Kyoto like she always wanted...

He regretted being bratty and fighting with them sometimes, regretted fighting with his brother and regretted leaving without saying he loved them today... And after that, when felt the world disappear, he regretted even bothering himself with _that __guy_, that dammed guy, like everyone else. He died hating them, hating himself and hating _him _above everything, wishing that someday, someone would just kill that bastard... Not really revenge... He just _hopelessly_ regretted not being able to do so. If he could come back to life, that was the first thing he would do...

_'It's really a shame that it's not possible...'_


	3. 02 Restless Minds

**A/N:** Hey!

...

Yeah, this took me a** long time**, and I _rewrote_ it countless times, but I made it extra big to compensate...(JUST SAYING: _THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM MY PREVIOUS PLOT_) ç-ç I hope it's enough sorryes! I mean, with that M-rated fic deletions, I had to revise my stories, I also had my original story to write, characters to develop and writing to improve! Not to mention school! ç-ç I've been so busy! Damn it! Really, trust me, if I could, I would write more! Much more! u-u

Not to mention - yes there's more - the books I needed to read (I was late with all of them) and other huge ideas coming into my mind, I really didn't have that much time to write. Oh boy, what a month...

Well, I decided how this story will progress and all, so I hope it's adequate this time. Last time, I tried changing the main plot, because, you know, I was scared it would be removed, but now I changed back and tried to balance everything. Hope it's fine! ç-ç

Also, big thanks to **_Optomistic Emo Kleptomaniac_; TheYoungStrega1999; _dwindling flame_; Link, The anonymous reviewer; _cercueil noir_; Another _Link_ who probably is the same person but who knows;_ al ilmo nour_; Phantom Hitman 1412; _Yuu3_; Ayz283; and_ Infernus87_ who had me in his fave author list since who knows when, unless I'm mistaking this user with someone else!  
**

Love you all! X) Really!

_Oh well, on with the story:_

_..._

* * *

Everything was dark. His thoughts were clouded, and he felt horrible. How could his feelings affect his body so severely?

Tsuna felt his heart beat inside him, strongly and quickly. He thought something was going to explode in there. He couldn't stop trembling, felt cold, and felt disgusted with what he'd just done.

_'He almost took a life...! Why...?'_

He felt a terrible feeling run through his body. He put a hand on his mouth, fighting the urge to throw up, but the feeling was gone as soon as it came while tears ran fresh on his face. He wiped them immediately and already felt sick and nauseous, he wanted to lie down and sleep, give his mind and body a rest, but he knew he couldn't.

He's going to kill them again... He didn't want to see his precious friends in such a pain again, even if it was just in his mind, it was too real for him to ignore. The memories of the last three months came back suddenly, causing an unbearable headache on top of everything.

_'That thing. Maybe I'm wrong about it. That's me. That's where the thoughts came from, that's why I...!'_

...Was he just being himself...?

He couldn't see any hope within his problems. He almost killed someone who had nothing to do with him. Where Reborn took him after that was concerning, but he told Tsuna to stay put.

Tsuna's expression turned grim when he sighed. He walked up to the mirror and gave a brief look at his current state. He was a mess. His skin was pale, his eyes red and puffy from crying, and had dark rings under his eyes to make things worse. His hair was messier than ever and his clothes were stained in blood, mainly from his bleeding arm.

He raised his arm to take a look.

_'It hurts...'_

He could see his reflection smile, no... show him a creepy smirk. Tsuna inhaled sharpy. His legs feeling weaker suddenly, and then he was feeling small and helpless. He just stopped breathing and froze right there.

His true self...?

It just stared at him with that terrifying smile right in front of him, that smile always on his face,

Always,

_Always_ there, no matter what he was doing. Tsuna let go of the breath he was holding, backing away from the reflective surface. And he did the same thing, copying his movements, though he just seemed plain amused by that.

He shrugged, as if saying _'I don't feel your pain,'_

He could see the unspoken words coming out of his stare. Tsuna felt the urge to run, run and never stop,

_'You hurt yourself for nothing,'_

To hide in a dark corner and hope he would never see him,

_'You're still too pathetic,'_

To just disappear from his sight!

_'You still need more _pain_!'_

Tsuna had closed his eyes, wanting to avoid him, he didn't want to confront him, and he was too scared to even talk back. He only wanted to cry. But when he opened them again, he wasn't in the mirror anymore.

Tsuna felt a warm breath near his face. Right in front of him.

"…**Boo!**"

Panic-stricken, Tsuna broke into a run, trying to escape from him, but his callous presence wouldn't leave.

He was always on his back!

Tsuna ran, hoping he'd find anyone who could protect him, any friend, anything that could save him, until he found himself on his way to the roof, hoping they would be there, waiting for him.

He wanted to see them and feel safe, wanted to hug them, pretend everything was okay like he does every day, even if it was for just a second...

_'Gokudera-kun! Yamamoto! Oni-san!'_

Already out of breath, he walked towards a dark door in front of him. The roof.

But stopped, contracting his fingers away from the doorknob. _'What if they are not there...?'_

On top of the building, the freedom from his pain was right there and he just needed a few steps...!

"N-no!" Tsuna cowered, suddenly realizing his own thoughts, hugging himself as if seeking some sort of self-comfort. He stepped back, imagining it was a bad idea to come here. He turned away from the door, looking down the stairs, and again, stopping.

Falling down there probably could hurt him pretty badly... or even end everything if he gets _lucky_...

Laughter rang in the air, a dark voice mocking him, laughing at his weak state.

Tsuna backed away, his back touching the corner of the staircase as if there was no way out. The room suddenly looked darker and bleak, the silence now had its own sound. He stared deeply at every other corner that now looked like dark spaces where he could see nothing. But yet, he felt like something was going to come out and eat him, crush his bones and rip his flesh painfully until it feels satisfied with the bloody mess.

Just like _he_ did.

He couldn't move. Tsuna couldn't stop shaking, and his body wasn't responding.

Suddenly he was able to hear something, sounds of loud steps and laughter, it wasn't just in the dark corner, it was everywhere but he still couldn't see anything. Tsuna wanted to turn around and run, but there was no room to move.

The intuition telling him to stay put at any cost or he would die _for real_ this time.

Suddenly, he felt something behind him, but it's not possible that he felt something there, almost feeling someone's hand near his face, like it was about to snatch his head and break his neck painfully. What was behind him was the wall.

_'Am I insane now...?'_

His eyes widened, while his breathing fastened, and the sound of his heart become loud as a drum beat. He mumbled with a pitched voice when his vision began to fade, "...S-someone save me..."

* * *

When he came back, he really couldn't believe himself. He shouldn't have left him alone... Well, he wouldn't _overestimate_ Tsuna's cognitive abilities again. Ever.

Reborn sighed, slightly tired from his earlier actions. But it was necessary, since it looked like his baby form wasn't enough to scare Tsuna in his current mental state, so he thought changing back to his real form, the one that even the toughest in the world would cower shamefully in front, would stop him.

It worked wonderfully.

And the kid? Well, it would've been a disaster if he spread this around. And more importantly, would've been clear proof of Reborn's mistake.

He would leave no evidence of such a wrong step.

He walked through the hallways rather quickly, looking for a certain brunette. Although he would never, ever admit, he was preoccupied about him, and that he had formed a certain 'bond' with him (of torturer/teacher and victim/student) was factual.

And, that's exactly what was bothering him. It was messing with 0.00159% of his rational thoughts at that moment. This caused him to slip his eyes off the brunette, followed by completely losing sight of him.

Simple chain reaction and that's how a pebble causes an avalanche.

Reborn sighed again, this time much more annoyed. "What a troublesome pebble."

* * *

"Mah mah, can't you just let us pass?"

"No."

"...Please? We're looking for Tsuna."

"You're supposed to be in class now. For breaking this rule, I'll bite you to death."

Yamamoto barely dodged the prefect's vicious attack, but he tried to remind as normal as possible. Why...? "Come on Hibari... there are people watching..."

Hibari shrugged. "I don't care."

Because there were indeed people watching!

They were right beside their class, 2-B. They could be heard, the wall wasn't thick enough, and they could be seen, the doors where wide open with heads sticking off...

"Stay still, Yamamoto Takeshi!" Hibari ordered in a slightly louder tone, but still apparently calm. It was already impressive that the almighty prefect didn't refer to him as herbivore and the baseball player just kept dodging while his friends cheered him for that.

"G-Gokudera! Help me out here!" He called, his smile still intact.

Gokudera wasn't really far. He was on the floor, with a large red mark on his face. He looked dizzy but stood up a few seconds later. " How annoying...! I'll go ahead then! I'm counting on you, Baseball Idiot!"

"Wha-" Dodged again, while Gokudera ran off, leaving him behind. Yamamoto looked back to the prefect who looked a little too pissed off, and smiled sheepishly again, "Ha... haha..." If Sasagawa-senpai were with them before, this would be easier...

Hibari and his clear bad mood just raised his tonfas again, slowly saying _"I'll bite you to death..."_

...

Gokudera leaved the distraction of that damned prefect with his 'fellow guardian' as much as he dreaded calling him that, while he went ahead to look for his boss.

After Tsuna didn't come back, Gokudera began to grow anxious, wondering if anything happened along the way._ 'That's why I'm not supposed to leave him alone damn it!'_ "As his Right-hand-man, I have reasons to be ashamed now!"

He passed through a lot of halls and checked other places. He didn't remember schools were this empty during class, it was oddly silent actually._ 'Maybe I should give credit to Japanese students for being so damn quiet during class.'_

But yet, he couldn't find Tsuna. Now things were becoming hazy in his mind. He couldn't think of any place right now!

But to his relief, he stumbled across a small figure in one hallway. He probably knew where Tsuna was!

"Reborn-san!" Gokudera smiled, relieved in seeing the Arcobaleno.

"Gokudera..." Reborn looked at him, then looked around, seeming distracted with something else. "Where is Tsuna?" He asked, to Gokudera's surprise.

"E-eh? I thought you knew-!"

Reborn looked with poorly hidden surprised. "He's not with you guys? !" He asked loudly, really inpatient.

"I'll keep looking for him!"

"Wait." Reborn protested, "Let's not waste time like this. Where were you guys before the bell, and when did you leave?"

Gokudera's breathing was already uneasy. He felt cold sweat slowly running on his skin. Reborn didn't even care about hiding his worry. Reborn was obviously worried! Something bad happened,_ 'I knew it!'_ "W-we were on the roof like usual, and Juudaime said he would be right back... we went after him after the bell. What happened with Juudaime before that, Reborn-san? !"

Reborn didn't respond. He instead hoped on his shoulder. "Let's go there then." Gokudera shook his head and ran towards the roof, not happy for being left without answers.

They could see the stairs, Gokudera was afraid of what he might find. "Can't you tell me already? !" Years in the mafia caused certain pessimism when it comes to this kind of situation.

"...Lets just say Tsuna's not feeling well." When someone disappears, and when even the world's greatest Hitman is worried... How bad can it be? !

"Why? !" He reached the stairs, a little bit closer to his destination, but the way up seemed so much longer now! "Is he sick? !"

"...I'm not sure." Not sure? ! His mind was racing with thoughts of the most variety of possibilities of what could have happened. He avoided thinking he could... die... There was no way he would ever die like this...

Maybe it was just a common cold? No, that doesn't explain how the Arcobaleno could be so worried! He couldn't think of anything!

When he finally met the door, he wanted to open it right away, but he was unexpectedly met with an unconscious form on the floor. He stopped dead on his tracks, eyes wide in shock. He could hear Reborn breath sharply by his side, but it become steady again right after when he hopped off the Storm's shoulder.

Gokudera finally broke off his daze and knelt down by the boy's side. "Juudaime!" Gokudera shook him lightly on his shoulder, when there was no response, he checked his pulse quickly.

_'...Nothing!'_

"...J-Juudaime! Juudaime! Please wake up!" Gokudera continuously plead for him to wake up, his panic instantly assumed the worst while he subconsciously promised the most painful fate for whoever did this. "...Who the hell-? !"

Reborn quickly checked his pulse again; something the panicking guardian could have missed.

Reborn scoffed.

Of course Gokudera missed it. He wouldn't notice any vital signs anyway, it was too weak. "He's alive Gokudera. Stop crying over nothing." He looked at his student. Anyone could easily mistake him as a dead person. It reminds him of some cases he's seen in his career.

Shock?

Fear?

Could be anything actually.

Reborn clenched his fists. He'd told Tsuna._ 'Enough is enough! He should have stayed where I left him!'_ Would this make a difference anyway? "It's a lethargy state. Somehow." Why did he fall into such a deeply unconscious state, he didn't know though.

"L-lethargy? Then what do we do? !"

"Take him to a hospital." Reborn stated simply while Leon turned into a cell phone. He went towards the door and opened, letting the light clear the darkish staircase. "I'll get us a car right now. We can't waste any time now."_ 'Damn it..._' Reborn sighed. "Really... I can't even leave him alone after this...?"

* * *

_'Yes, that's it...'_

Reborn had called him earlier, and strangely, demanded his presence back in Japan, not really explaining much.

He seemed hasty but Iemitsu was a busy man, Reborn knew that. But what excuse he has to simply ask- no, scratch that, to simply order him to go back to Japan and help with 'something', nevertheless explaining very little of what was happening?

And there was the Arcobaleno, calling him again... He wasn't in the mood for it. It's frigging late, and oh, he was running out on coffee...

"Reborn again?" Lal asked. She hopped on his table to stare at the phone with an annoyed look, before looking back at the papers she had in hands while shaking her head.

Iemitsu stopped writing whatever he was writing there. "I told him I would go there as soon as I can!" He answered the phone anyway, sighing. "I told you before, Reborn! I'm-"

_"Just shut up and listen. Things are getting really nasty here, so put your current work aside now. We got important things to discuss this time."_

"Reborn... But you didn't even tell me how important it is! How can I put everything aside if I don't even know what is and what is not more urgent than whatever is happening there? Just explain already. You know I'm busy." He responded. Really, as much as he cared about his son, as much as he hated desk work, he couldn't simply leave Italy whenever he wanted to._ 'I really wish I could and see Nana and my cute son everyday!'_ He thought, while using his pen to scratch his head.

Reborn remained quiet for a few seconds. _"I get it. _Sorry_."_ He wasn't honest about his apology at all._ "The thing is, I was really hasty to help Tsuna at that moment. He was having quite the mania episode. Your wife is really, reallyworried you know?"_

Mania episode...? But wait, "What do you mean, even Nana is _really worried_? ! Nana is a deep pool of peacefulness, cute naivety, and happiness!"

Lal sweat dropped.

"What could possibly make her worry like you say?"

Reborn sighed. He was doing that a lot now._ "...Probably seeing her only son stab himself in some sort of psychotic rage fit, and also, almost committing suicide. I guess she's not cut for bloody people in front of her."_

Iemitsu dropped the pen. Confusing Lal with his shocked expression. He got over his shock and then hit his fist on the glass table, cracking it. "What do you mean, _suicide_? !" He yelled.

Not too far, Basil jumped, really startled by the sudden scream and looked away from the person he was talking with to look at his master in surprise from a fair distance.

Lal looked back at him, frowning._ 'Who? Who committed suicide?! Couldn't it be one of Sawada's friends, could it?'_

Iemitsu heard Reborn scoff at the end of the line._ "Now you understand the situation. Listen. Something has been... 'disturbing' your son directly in his mind. During his sleep to be precise. Maybe a skilled illusionist, though I don't know how said person got around him, that is, if."_ Reborn concluded._ "He's mind is quite damaged."_

Iemitsu looked down and took a deep breath. "How is he?"

_"Right now, in a hospital. Looks like he can't take any more stress. He's in a lethargy state, so I'm not sure when he'll wake up."_

"Have you asked him about it before that?"

_"Of course I have. Do you think I'm that careless?"_

"And?"

_"Well..."_ Reborn started, Iemitsu imagined he was looking around. He was probably with Tsuna right then._ "He has a _psychological blockage_. I spent a whole afternoon trying to get past it two days ago, but it's no use. He can't talk about it even if he wants to. And pushing him won't do us any good."_

He lay back on his chair, frowning deeply. Lal sat on his table, her look saying she would patiently wait for him to finish his conversation, mentally drawing her own conclusions. "In this situation, if it's really an enemy illusionist, then we can use another one to barge in his mind and see who he or she is."

_"Yeah, I thought so too. I have someone in mind for the job, but something's been bothering me."_

"Hm? What is it?"

_"Even though it's the most likely case, I'm not sure if he or she is an illusionist."_

"..."

Reborn took his silence as a 'go on',_ "You see, I found very little about it with what Tsuna told me, but something he told me, is that this happened for over _three months_."_

Iemitsu almost gasped, but frowned and let Reborn continue.

_"And Tsuna, being the idiot he is, didn't want to worry anyone and kept quiet, thinking it would go away soon. I guess while he waited for it to go away, the psychological blockage began to take form. What I'm trying to say is that in such a long period of time, mental invasion leaves some trails, since the invader can't _stay_ in there, otherwise I would have noticed a second presence immediately. It doesn't look like someone goes in and out of his mind like this every night. It's either one of the three most skilled illusionists in the world, which even so, I doubt they would fool me for that long without some special help, or _something_ that has been there the whole time and never had to get in to begin with, therefore, wouldn't be a unknown presence for me."_

"Something that never had to get in huh..." Iemitsu repeated thoughtfully. "If that's the case, then I can only think of the Vongola ring. I can't think of anything else he was given or even born with..."

Lal blinked in confusion. The Vongola ring? What could it have anything to do with someone's suicide? Did someone even committed one, or just tried? She looked down thoughtfully, then noticed Basil on their office's door. She shrugged at him. She was more confused than him.

* * *

In the hospital, Tsuna was given a particular room, a fairly big space, demanded by Reborn, mostly because he didn't want _roommates_ with his student. As soon as he sat on Tsuna's bed, he asked Gokudera to stay quiet and _listen_.

The right-hand-man looked completely dejected and distressed while he heard the conversation. At Tsuna's side, he held his hand, hoping he would wake up. But when he heard about what was happening, he couldn't help but feel like the most worthless piece of garbage in the history of mafia for not noticing that his boss was suffering right under his nose.

"That makes me wonder..." Reborn looked at Gokudera, who looked back expectantly, then at Tsuna. "...Could this have absolutely anything to do with that little _accident_ last month?"

Gokudera tensed visibly. "...That dammed field trip...?" He murmured to himself, buried deeply inside his thoughts when he heard Reborn again.

"So maybe you could check that with Nono for me, since you insist that you're too busy to leave Italy? He might know something." Gokudera blinked worriedly. Now Kyuudaime? Things got so horrible suddenly. He clenched his teeth. Getting attached to normalcy wasn't his thing, so he constantly expected for something to happen again, like last month... But Gokudera never thought this something would hurt Tsuna so badly or that that would be tangled with their problems.

"Okay then. Call me when you get something." Reborn turned around. His call finished. "Well?"

Gokudera looked at him with wide eyes, but then looked down, completely ashamed. "How could this happen for three months... and no one notice anything?" He asked, almost forcing his voice out, the thing with the field trip forgotten then.

Reborn shook his head, lowering his hat to cover his eyes. He himself was deeply disappointed for not noticing. But also angry at Tsuna for once, trying to be tough at the wrong moment. "I shouldn't leave him alone, but I got someone I really need to find now."

Gokudera blinked, then realization hit him. He took a deep breath and stood up. "You can leave this to me!" He yelled devotedly, almost shining with determination.

Reborn smirked and folded his arms. "Yeah, I'll call Yamamoto and Ryohei too, just in case." With that, Gokudera sweat dropped and sank back on his chair again, feeling like Reborn doesn't trust him at all.

Even though Reborn noticed his determination, he really couldn't leave everything on his hands only. "Listen Gokudera. If he wakes up, he may be out of himself, so don't let him do anything stupid." He said, completely serious. "Don't hesitate, even if you need to hurt him."

Gokudera moved from his moody state to stare at Reborn in confusion. He gulped but nodded soon after.

Reborn nodded and was about to shut the door, his voice completely calm and nonchalant, "If something bad happens, I'll have your head, Gokudera Hayato."

Gokudera almost winced while watched the door closing in front of him. Reborn's serious air left some threatening trail that could frighten anyone.

He looked back at Tsuna and held his hand firmly. He was determined, he had the resolve to protect Tsuna no matter what and no matter who he had to fight with to achieve this, he would do it.

At least 20 minutes passes, Baseball Idiot and Lawn Head weren't there yet, probably because of school and the hospital wasn't that nearby. So while that, Gokudera watched Tsuna like a hawk by himself.

Gokudera took a long breath to lower the tension and looked around the room, making sure it was safe again, when he noticed a table at the other side of the room.

It had a bottle of water there. Tsuna would be thirsty when he wakes up, and so was he at that moment. The stress is not good for him.

He looked back at Tsuna and bit his lower lip.

Reluctantly, he stood up and left his side, walking towards the table, not once taking his eyes off the brunette.

While he served some water, he took a quick glance, just one second, to see what he was doing exactly, when he noticed he was pouring water on the table. "Wah! How could I mess Juudaime's room like this? ! I'm such a-!"

Then he heard a sound.

Gokudera looked around in a breakneck speed, now seeing Tsuna, sitting up like he just took a good nap. He left the mess the way it was to run towards Tsuna immediately, with a relieved expression on his face. "Juudaime! I'm so glad you're fine! How do you feel? ! Any pain? ! You need anything? !" He would worry about 'who' later. First things first.

He kept asking things about his well being, but apparently, Tsuna wasn't paying too much attention to it. He didn't smile, he didn't say anything. His expression was as blank as his eyes, and Gokudera noticed.

"Juudaime, is everything alright...?" He asked, again. Gokudera had a bad feeling about this. Not like his guts ever told him something useful at these tense situations.

Tsuna opened his mouth so say something when he noticed this man's obviously teary eyes, and closed it again. He frowned briefly, and then left his bed, walking towards the window rather slowly.

"Juudaime?" Gokudera called, confused by his behavior, when he remembered Reborn's words.

_"Listen Gokudera. If he wakes up, he may be out of himself, so don't let him do anything stupid."_

Gokudera's eyes widened at that and he stood up, steadily walking towards his boss, when Tsuna turned around.

Gokudera gasped. That empty look, almost like he was sleep walking or something.

_"Don't hesitate, even if you need to hurt him."_

He resumed his course towards him, determined to even pull him back into bed if necessary, but Tsuna raised his hand, closed it into a fist and quickly hit the glass, breaking it into shards.

Gokudera gasped in surprise.

He didn't move nor showed any sign of pain, just stared back at Gokudera, who looked shocked and confused while Tsuna bent down and picked a long shard on the floor.

_Suicide?_

It was the first thing that came into Gokudera's mind. Was he going to try it again? ! He couldn't let that happen! He went to grab his wrist before he could bring that shard anywhere near his skin.

But then, Gokudera's eyes widened and everything slowed down. The piece of glass - mere centimeters from his own green eyes.

Gokudera moved and dodged by sheer reflex, but couldn't avoid the livid cut under his eye and across his cheek. Groaning with the pain, Gokudera looked back at Tsuna, pressing his hand on the cut. The pain tingling uncomfortably.

Still no reaction. Just staring emptily at him._ 'Why would he attack me? !'_

Another quick attack, another scratch. Gokudera wasn't fast enough to completely dodge from Tsuna. He could be hit again easily! And worse, he couldn't even use his Vongola Gear. He would just end up hurting Tsuna even more!

Gokudera tried to grab his hands and stop him, but Tsuna moved shiftily and cut him again. This time on his arm.

Gokudera frowned and stopped moving this time. Not dodging, he felt the pain on his shoulder-blade, the pain of being stabbed, but he put it aside and grabbed Tsuna's wrist before he could take the shard off and attack him again.

_'Still, almost no reaction...!'_

Gokudera couldn't understand, but he remembered immediately about Reborn's conversation with Tsuna's father.

Frowning, he looked back at Tsuna who was holding the shard roughly enough to make his- Tsuna's hand bleed. The drops of blood, falling visibly on the white floor now.

"Who the hell are you...? !" Gokudera asked. Deep rage being repressed inside of him. Pain long forgotten.

That was it. Someone was controlling him and it could just be the possible illusionist Reborn was talking about.

'Tsuna' didn't say anything in response. He instead twisted the shard making Gokudera shiver in pain, along with the aching, bitter feeling he had. Yet, he refused to let go of Tsuna's wrist.

Seeing that hurting him further wasn't working, Tsuna pushed him straight into the wall, deepening the cut even more, and grabbed his neck with his free hand. Gokudera gasped in pain and lack of air when Tsuna pushed the shard even deeper, as if he wanted to cut his arm off, but Gokudera still wouldn't let go.

Gokudera was losing his grip when the shard suddenly broke, surprising them both. Tsuna let go of the now blunt shard, and used his foot against Gokudera's stomach, in a more desperate attempt to break free from his grasp.

Gasping in pain, Gokudera held on the hand that was currently choking him. But not with a firm grasp to free himself. But with a softer touch, as if trying to reach the real Tsuna behind mind controlling enemy. Tsuna's eyes lightened a little.

Gokudera gasped, or he would have gasped, if he had enough air, when he heard some loud and familiar voice away from the room, yelling 'EXTREME!' as far as he could tell. He felt annoyed and relieved at the same time. He couldn't deal with Tsuna without using his Vongola Gear and hurt him, so might as well use some help.

The door opened quickly and Gokudera saw two familiar faces who probably came running, but were surprised by the situation anyway. "W-what are you two doing?!"

Tsuna didn't even knowledge their presence and kept trying to break free.

"H-help me here! Someone's..." He didn't finish his sentence when Yamamoto quickly held Tsuna away from him while Ryohei grabbed Gokudera's shirt collar. "What's EXTREMELY happening? !" Yelling right on his face.

Yamamoto seemed to be having some trouble to hold Tsuna, so he mobilized him on the floor, holding Tsuna's arms, with his knee against his back and the other hand pressing Tsuna's head on the cold floor, sighing in relief.

"Did Sawada-?!"

"No! Juudaime is being controlled by someone!" Gokudera retorted back while taking the piece of shard off his shoulder. It probably reached his nerves, so no wonder it hurts so bad. He suppressed a shiver and looked at Tsuna who stopped trashing around and looked sleepy now.

"Why is he being controlled? !" Yamamoto asked. He was obviously more confused than anyone in the room.

"I-I don't know! Reborn-san said it might be it!"

"And why was he EXTREMELY trying to hurt you? !"

"I don't know! It's an enemy after all, or whatever- I just don't know!"

Yamamoto looked between them, not sure what he's supposed to do now. Laughing wasn't going to help Tsuna now. He wasn't even conscious for that matter!

Wait..._ 'Is getting hotter here...?'_ He looked down only to utter a surprised yelp at the sudden fire that appeared, and got away from Tsuna quickly.

"Flames? !" Gokudera took a few steps back. The flames diminished rather quickly and Tsuna looked much more tired now. He finally settled his eyes on Gokudera again.

"Knock him out now!" Yamamoto told Ryohei, who nodded. Strangely quiet and serious.

"Wait! You gonna hurt Juudaime!" Gokudera protested, angrily refusing the idea and holding Ryohei's arm. "There should be another way of doing this without hurting Juudaime!"

"But if we don't, he will extremely try to attack you!" Ryohei argued, seeing that Tsuna was going only after Gokudera, and no one else.

"What did you do?" Yamamoto asked.

"Nothing!" Gokudera yelled back.

Ryohei snatched his arm off Gokudera's grip and then was in Tsuna's direction.

Gokudera remained stunned when noticed that Tsuna was only looking at him,

_Only after him,_

Before Tsuna could defend against Ryohei, Yamamoto grabbed him shirt collar and pulled him back, Tsuna looked back at him and was punched by Ryohei soon after. But even so, he was still conscious, which was surprising. "Help here, Gokudera!" He called, when Tsuna hit Yamamoto's gut with his elbow and shiftily dodged the upcoming punch, resulted in Yamamoto getting punched instead.

"AH! Sorry!" Ryohei yelled, and Yamamoto shook his head, trying to ignore the pain of what would later turn into a really eye-catching black eye.

Before Ryohei could attack again, Tsuna grabbed his arm and used him as a weapon to attack Gokudera, with an amazing strength, he managed to throw him against the younger guardian.

They both hit the cold floor, Ryohei was slightly dizzy with the fall, and Gokudera couldn't get him off. "Get off me, Lawn Head!"

"How's that, Octopus Head? ! It's not my fault!"

"Then get off already!"

They were suddenly starting a fight when Yamamoto appeared and pulled them apart. "Hey! We need to go after Tsuna now!

"Wha...? !" Gokudera was startled, but then he noticed the door right open. "When-? !"

"Right after that last move. C'mon. If we don't hurry we'll lose sight of him!"

Clicking his tongue in a reluctant anger, Gokudera gave up. He couldn't ignore this. Hurting Tsuna was the only way to stop the enemy inside of him.

"We need to get him back before Reborn-san comes back."

"Why? Wouldn't be extremely easier with him? !" Ryohei asked, already outside the room, looking back and forth for any signs of Tsuna.

"A-ah! That's because...

_"If something bad happens, I'll have your head, Gokudera Hayato."_

That's why..."

He certainly cared about Tsuna more than himself, but Reborn managed to create a sparkle there, a _fear of death_ inside of him. Not surprising.

"That includes us...?"

"Yes! It does!"

Yamamoto was really reluctant about this. Mainly because Ryohei actually looked eager to fight, and that only annoyed Gokudera, which could take to another fight. And he couldn't do anything! If he had his sword, would he be able to know him out with it? Ryohei couldn't. And of course he wouldn't cut him. Just no way. "We can't use our Gears to attack Sawada! We'll have to deal with this by extremely kicking his butt the old school way!"

Gokudera sighed. As much as he hated to even let such a thought slip into his mind, he would have to do it. And quickly!

* * *

_**A/N:** Well! This took a hell of a long time! o-o I don't think it's good yet! But not matter, I couldn't change or add stuff anymore._

_So really, I'll try to update sooner next time, I'll start writing as soon as I can. Not today... Not this week, because I've got exams this week... u.u It's still the MIDDLE of the year here, summer is still far away, and I wanted to post this before studying again... So yeah..._

_See you guys around! X(_


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